Ironman UK #2
Jeez….You fukin guys….
How to make a grown man cry eh?
The way hundreds, and I mean literally hundreds of you were with me today was nothing short of unbeliavable.
Loads kindly took the time to say you enjoyed reading my blog or gave me a high 5 as we passed on the run.
I really appreciate that you took the trouble to do that, I really do.
But it was the haunting cries of ‘Go on Rookie’ that touched me the most.
You see the thing is, It wasn’t just the fact that people were shouting it.
It was the way that some of you were shouting it…..
It was like a heartfelt roar, like how you would shout at the football….
From now on, every time I go down chorley new road I will hear those haunting cries ringing loud in my ears.
I swear to god, it will stay with me for the rest of my days.
To every single one of you that did that….
Thank you.
You have no idea what it meant….
Then again, you know exactly what it meant & that is precisely why you did it..
Isn’t it?
Anyhow, more about that later.
To business.
In order to frame this post I would like to share a true story.
A lad I know who is well into his cycling got seduced by everyone going on about the Ironman so decieded to go and do a lap of the IMUK bike circuit on Saturday to ‘see what all the fuss was about’
When he got back he posted on FB that he was absolutely fucked, dismissed IMUK as ‘impossible’ and was asking how the bloody hell people do it.
You see the trouble is, once you surround yourself with Ironmen, you forget that there are millions of people in the world that currently think like this.
Millions.
But I haven’t forgotten.
I know exactly how you feel.
It’s the whole reason for this website, my blog and my book.
I’m trying to show you that once you understand and apply a few certain principles, follow a simple plan, be clever with your training and come with the right attitude…..
It’s possible….
Very possible.
But at the same time i’m also spreading the word about how fukin awesome IMUK is (and everyone in it).
Here is how IMUK #2 went.
Pre Race
Sadly, due to the course having to be changed as a safety precuation following recent wildfires, there had been loads of negativity about the event on social media from people that hadn’t even entered so it was high time someone changed the mood.
I went on to post a pic with the caption ‘The bags are ace, the swim caps are ace, the numbers are ace, the wristbands are ace, the volunteers are ace everything is fukin ace….LETS AV IT!’ and it got nearly 500 ‘likes’.
500 likes!
Kind of silences all the neg heads dont you think? (and boy are there some proper neg heads out there lol)
One slight hiccup however.
My race number was red.
Red is for first timers.
I ain’t no first timer.
Rookie should have had a black number.
I asked the lovely ladies to swap it but they laughed at me having a little tantrum over the colour of my number and said it was too late to do anything which I totally understood.
When I got back I asked a couple of lads online what colour their numbers were (black) and they started taking the piss that mine was still red.
This pissed me off.
The thing is, returning to claim your black number is a right of passage for many an Ironman.
So I went and did something stupid.
Sharpie marker in hand, I gently went to work on the background, taking great care not to effect the actual number itself, and sent one of the lads a pic.
“Black background…Sorted.”
Sorted until I went to rack my bike that was…..
Bag Drop
When I arrived at T1 my helmet clip had mysteriously disappeared but that was the least of my worries.
As I went to ‘check my bike in’ they were waiting for me.
“Rookie, can we have a word.”
“Of course, what’s up?”
“Can we see your race number please”
“It’s in my bag”
“Go and get it Rookie…”
“Now we know that you did this as you posted it all over social media and whilst we might not say anything, we are wathcing”
Anyhow, the lady then went on to explain that tampering with your race number could potnetially lead to a DQ.
“You are very lucky, we have decieded to be lenient with you Rookie, take this”
She then gave me the crappiest race number you have ever seen in your life, it was red with 1532 written on it in black marker pen, no name, no nothing.
“How is that any better than the one I have done” I asked…
But she just gave me ‘a look’
I deceided not to push it, thanked the kind lady, apologised for my error and went to rack me bike as quick as i could.
I felt a right dick that I did this and was very embarrassed about it to be honest.
But those who love me will hopefully see the lighter side and will understand that my heart was in the right place here.
Race day – Pre Race
I don’t know if its just me but once I have left my bike I don’t stop worrying about it.
I get myself convinced something will have mysteriously happened to it overnight.
Thankfully, on arrival, all was in order.
I had let the tyres down because of the heat and was certain there was going to be riots over the track pumps in transition but was delighted to discover that everybody ‘played nicely’ so to speak.
Bike sorted, thank fuk, now I can relax.
I went for a last minute pee and heard the announcer say that Joe Skipper had turned up to race which I was over the moon about.
I was one of the last ones to ‘line up’
As I walked round to the swim pen the national anthem was playing so I put my arms aloft and began to sing it at the top of my voice to the other athletes who I could see through the cage.
I wanted them to join in, but they either laughed at me or gave me a look as if to say ‘Don’t come and stand anywhere near me you fukin psycho – I want a peaceful swim’
2.4 Mile Swim : Plan 1:30 : Actual Time 1:45
I ‘elbowed’ my way through to stand alongside the 1:30 boys and had ace banter with those around me as we waited to ‘get in’.
Pleased to observe we reached the pontoon at 6:15 so bang on plan.
Just like last year the start was very civilised.
After you…no! after you!….. WTF?
Got in.
Stayed right,
Was far too right tbh.
Felt like it took ages to get to the first turn buoy.
Turn 1 was way more pleasant than I was expecting.
To Buoy number 2, all is going well.
Turned to complete the long stretch back home and OMG.
All hell was breaking loose.
The problem was we were swimming into strong direct sunlight and it was completely impossible to see fuck all.
People were stopping because they couldnt see which meant athletes were crashing into eachother and everyone started panicking- throw into the mix the elite racers coming round to complete lap 2 and you have complete pandomoniom
It resembled a scene from the movie titanic.
But It was kicking off big time.
I heard grown men making noises that sent a chill to the spine.
I class myself as a fairly competent open water swimmer who can handle a fair bit of ‘argy bargy’ but I have to admit, my arse was starting to go here too.
Slightly shorter bike course or not, It’s at times like this that you earn your Ironman stripes my friend.
Try and keep your head Rookie, folllow the pack and just keep swimming.
Plenty of unintentional blows were exchanged and I reckon I must have swam an extra half mile such was the ‘blind leading the blind’ effect.
Thankfully I starts to hear the music on the shore so I just swam in the genral direction of that but boy was I glad to make it home that first lap.
I finished lap 1 in about 50 mins which was over plan but i didn’t give a toss, i was thankful to make it out alive to be perfectly honest with you.
For this reason alone I would recomend that you dont even think about entering IMUK until you are a competent open water swimmer – join a weekly coached open water swim group and work your way up the triathlon levels like I did first would be my advice.
One lad fell over as he got out so I turned round to pick him up before the ‘stampede’ but no-one tells you about that now do they?
Onto lap 2.
I sat on the corner of the pontoon to clear my googles and the war cries as everyone jumped in for a second time were fantastic…
“One more!”
“Again!”
“Lets Av It” (Mine)
Any my fave, a scouse lad replying to me…
“Go on Laaa”
Lap 2 was a way more civilised affair.
Into the final turn for home and I was bracing myself for another kicking from milwall but this time the sun was a bit higher in the sky (one advantage of being shit) and whilst sighting was still tricky, it was nothing like first time round.
I managed to spot some trees directly above the arch so used those as my guide but they could have done with some more huge buoys down that home straight to be fair.
Total swim 1:45 – 15 mins over plan but i’ll take that given the ‘riot’ on lap 1.
Bike 14 mile ‘pre loop’ : plan 1 hour – actual time 55 mins
No more than 50 yards from the T1 exit there was a lady with her bike upside down already.
“OMG Unlucky Babe” I said to her and she took this completely as intended.
“I know, can you believe this shit?’ she replied.
I didn’t half feel sorry for this poor girl, tech issues so early into the bike would be my worst nightmare.
She seemed to have someone helping her out and I hope she got sorted in the end.
This pre loop is fairly uninteresting, I had a few ‘alrite Rookies’ and there was some good support in Leigh this year which was nice to see.
I was pleased to make it round to Babylon in 55 minutes, 5 minutes ahead of schedule.
Main Bike Circuit : Lap 1 : Plan 3:30 Actual Time 2:50 (ish)
I’ve got to be honest, I knew once I got to the start of the main circuit broadly within plan there wasn’t really any danger of missing the bike cut off times bar a complete catastrophe and this made me feel totally relaxed.
I cannot over emphasise the importance of riding the actual loop in training as often as you can prior to the event.
This means that, come race day, You already know what you are capabale of, you have got your predicted time, so it simply becomes a case of ‘working your plan.’
Babylon was just warming up however when I got to the top someone in the crowd screamed ‘come on Rookie you should be up there with the rest of em’ In a broad Wigan acent which didnt half make me smile.
The best thing about this first lap though was seeing the pros in action.
As i’m making my way round the new bit for the first time Joe Skipper came past me on his second lap.
Lets just pause whilst we reflect on that for a second.
I was only 15 minutes behind him into the water and yet this legend is already an entire bike circuit (circa 2 and a half hours) ahead of me.
How unreal is that?
I shouted “Joe Skipper legend” and I hope he heard me.
I was buzzing to hear later that he went on to win the race.
Further round and I was waiting for Lucy to come past in what looks like it might sadly be her final IMUK.
I wasn’t waiting long.
She came past on the A6 and I shouted ‘everybody loves you Lucy Gossage’.
I know she heard me.
I swear she almost turned her head back.
It was a beautiful moment and one that will stay with me for the rest of my days,
After she won the race I sent her a message of congratulations and asked if she heard me.
She replied that she did, thanked me and said well done (on completing IMUK for the second time.)
And she wonders why everybody loves her.
That your average Joe gets to ‘race’ alongside such legends is worth the Ironman entry fee tenfold.
Once I had come down from the clouds, disaster struck
I got a puncture and I proper shit myself.
I am crap at punctures.
You can imagine the banter I got from the other athletes as i’m stood by the side of the road, bike upside down, Iron Rookie all over my top.
“I’ve written a book about punctures Rookie”
“Unlucky-Rookie”(belly laugh)
“DNF Rookie”
You get the idea…
But I took it all in good spirits, they were making me laugh tbh,
One thing you learn in this sport and that’s banter.
Thankfully I managed to sort the puncture but it didnt half unerve me.
Please Iron gods.
If I am going to fail please let it be a physical failure on my part, not a mechanical one.
I was nervous as hell for the rest of the lap.
The support on Hunters took my mind off it – fantastic as always.
Towards the end of the circuit a street party was going off in full swing and they made an arch for you to ride under which was just ace.
Lap 2 Plan 3:30 actual time 2:45 (ish)
Onto Babylon for the second time and the atmosphere from the spectators is now at fever pitch.
Half way up and my most loyal supporter Big G shouted ‘IRON ROOKIE!’ at the top of his voice with a huge smile on his face.
Big G was someone who I met last year – he posted online that a runner left him high and dry when he went to give them a high 5 at Bolton Park run (he was a steward) so I went down there the following week to high 5 him as i ran past and encouraged everyone else to do likewise.
In return, he unexpectedly turned up at my first Ironman last year with all his family and gave me the best support I’ve ever had.
It was ace to see him again, I knew he was coming but I wasnt expecting him until the run.
His noise was soon picked up by one of the COLT lads who shouted ‘GOOOOO ONNNN IRON ROOKIE!’ in such a way that it felt like I had ten of them pushing me all the way up the rest of the hill.
Loved that one of the COLT boys did that when i’m not even a member of their club.
After a short stop with the umpa lumpas at the food station (WTF) I was on my merry way for another lap (i’m only joking the umpa lumpas were ace as were all the volunteers as always)
Over to Anglezark and one of my favourite moments of the race.
Tri Rochdale were stood on the toughest part of the climb and doing a fantastic job at getting everyone up it.
Seeing a gang of lads from Rochdale shouting ‘hut hut hut’ like they are natives from the swiss alps was one of the funniest fukin things I have ever seen and absolutely bloody brilliant.
Nearing the top I found myself alone as I approached the wrestlers with the music pumping out.
One of them looked directly at me and I looked directly at him smiling and pumping my fist against my heart.
There is something about these wrestlers, the way they stand and look at you, something mystical like.
Anyhow once that was out of the way the hard work was done until we got round to hunters for its second instalment.
By the time I got there most of the crowds had fucked off, I don’t blame them, I would have done the same, lets have it right, the pros had finished their bike hours ago.
Near the top there was one animated lad who picked me out ‘Go on Iron Rookie, fantastic’ and I could tell he genuinely meant it.
I thanked him for staying to support the stragglers and once Hunters was conquered it felt like my work was done.
Ended the lap on around 2:45 and more importantly absolutely smashed the cut offs.
Ride to T2 : plan 30 mins actual 30 mins
This was pretty uniteresting until we drew level with the run.
As you approach T2 you cycle along those who are getting stuck into their mara.
It was a little bit dis-heartening to see so many already out on the run circuit but straight away I could hear people shouting for me as I cycled past them.
Once I got to the turn off one of them roared ‘Go on Rookie’ so loud I bet they could hear it the other side of Bolton.
That roar gave me such a lift and it will stay with me for a very long time.
Whoever did that you are fukin ace mate.
Total Time : Swim + T1 + Bike = 9:04 : Cut off = 10:30
Mara : Plan 5 hours – Actual time : Who gives a shit?
I knew when I got to T2 nearly an hour and a half inside the cut off ‘the double’ was going to be mine.
I had nearly 8 hours to complete this mara and I knew I was capable of 20k in 2:30 which would leave me 5 and a half hours to complete the final 20k.
That said, I entered a dark place when I arrived in T2.
How the hell am I going to do this mara? I thought to myself.
I’ll be completely honest with you, I chilled, sorted my head out, went for a dump, had a brew (I literally had a brew lol) and took my time getting changed.
I spent 17 minutes in there which some will find hillarious but I couldn’t give a flying fuk.
Look, when your goal is to simply ‘get round’ you free yourself from the chains that bind and those chains come disguised as chasing the PB.
Cop out?
Go and tell that to the guy who thinks completing an Ironman is impossible and is looking at my back to back ‘victories’ in complete awe.
All he sees are the two sacred medals cock and wants to know how the hell I did it.
So I will show him how I did it because I want the numbers to double…(don’t we all?)
And they will…
By the way, total respect to all those who PB’d / finished quicker than me today (majority of the field lol) and to those out there who have done IMUK more times than I (or just absolutely bloody love it like I do) Then please consider sharing your story and starting a blog. Tell the whole world how wonderful IMUK is and together we can bring those who believe that completing it is ‘impossible’ into the light. Thanks.?
Anyhow, back to business..
I’d bought a new pair of trainers and my feet felt like they were in heaven (at least initially) and slowly I started to come round to the idea of tackling this mara.
Make no mistake.
That mara was a Bastard.
It looked like this:
2.5k flat
4k up (and an absolute bitch of an up at that)
4k down
Repeat x 4
But I came with a plan.
Run the flats, walk the ups and run the downs.
I’d practiced this in training and built myself up to 3 laps where my average lap time was 1:15 using the run/walk strategy.
Also, I didn’t do a single brick run this time round, not one.
Here is how it went..
Lap 1 : To 10.5k
It was a surreal experience joining the course on comparatively fresh legs compared to those who had already ran anything up to 30k and were no doubt feeling absolutely goosed.
I took it really easy and settled into my stride.
Once again I seemed to have acquired little pockets of supporters dotted all around the town centre shouting my name as I passed which was unreal.
On arrival into le mans crescent Big G was there with all his family and introduced me at the top of his voice just like he did last year – I mean this guy – honestly he’s just the best.
The first lap went well, i stuck to my plan and it worked a treat. returned to the park in 1:15, bang on schedule.
Lap 2: To 21k
When I looped the town for the second time and ran adjacent to the finish line extremely loud dance music was pumping out and the crowd were going mad for the people that were running onto the red carpet.
The natural high that rushed through my body in this moment was unbelievable – I haven’t experienced anything like that since the hacienda in 1992.
When I spotted Big G again I was absolutely off my tits so I started shouting “EASY! EASY! at them with wide hand claps to match and you can imagine how the crowd reacted to this.
Further round and I passed some of the girls from Essex Tri club.
“Awight Wookie?” one of them said to me and her accent made me laugh,
“I love the way you talk, I could listen to you all day” I said.
That was it, from then on they were looking out for me and they didnt half keep me going each lap.
It was also on this lap that loads of people were coming up to me and shaking my hand, telling me they enjoyed my blog or saying they were first timers and found my posts useful to their quest.
You have no idea how much that meant.
Paul Fisher, one of the Wigan boys soon brought me down to earth – he was running the other way on his victory parade and could see me ‘exchanging pleasantries’ so started going balistic… ‘Fukin get them legs moving Rookie!’……(love that he went on to achieve his goal of sub 12 despite nearly an hour of tec issues.)
But right there is a very pivotal point.
I came with a race plan and I was sticking to it.
No point me going all guns blazing up Chorley New Road only to later blow up and record a DNF.
Strategy is key, especially when you are Iron Rookie and you have a hardcore following of loyal supporters to answer to.
Failure was not an option.
I Ended lap 2 @ 2:30 exactly as predicted but i’m now startin to feel it.
Lap 3 To 31.5k
I’ve no idea how I managed to stick to plan.
Then again I know exactly how I managed to do it.
I thought about this…
The bloke stood getting more and more pissed on the hill outside lion of Vienna singing ‘one iron rookie’ as I went by.
The turtle bangin out the tunes in the town centre who would ‘salute’ me each time
The wonderful support outside retreat…
The amazing volunteers on all the feed stations doin their little routine to keep you going….
Getting one step closer to meeting the person holding the golden hairband…
Hundreds of people lining the route who spotted my Bolton badge and shouted ‘go on Wanderers lad’ or ‘White army’ at me as I passed
Essex….
Fukin love you Essex…
But the thing that kept me going most of all?
The haunting cries of ‘Go on Rookie’ from the other atheltes as we crossed.
Thats how I got through lap 3.
We are now at 3:50 and im starting to lose me stronghold on me plan.
Lap 4 To 42k
Got to be honest, i’m losing the will to live.
I took a breather just over the timing mat near queens park and had a little wobble.
When you do this you immediatly get surrounded by supporters.
Someone further down the road off to collect their bike screamed ‘Keep going Rookie, Dont give up’
This was the boost I needed.
Who ever did that you are fukin ace too.
This final lap is just a case of doing what you need to do to get through it.
The camaraderie you experience with the other ‘athletes’ still on the course is out of this world.
You are like the walking wounded returning from fighting the same war.
It’s unbeliavable.
The pain you feel mixed with an intense desire to continue, I cant describe it, you have to come and do it to know what it feels like.
But let me tell you something.
When you run onto that red carpet to be welcomed by the Legend that is Paul Kaye, the pain disappears and the sensation of ecstasy you experience will stay with you for the rest of you days…
2 x Ironman UK finishes in consecutive years?…
Sorted.
Treble Rookie?
As one lad on who also ‘did the double’ on Sunday put it….
Rude not to…
Besides, I’ve still got a black number to claim…?
Until next year, my friends…..
Like this article? so will your mates – feel free to share it and don’t forget to ‘add’ me on FB where you will find my daily training log for 2018
By the way, hve you heard about this book? its nearly 500 pages crammed full of hints and tips detailing exactly how I was able to go from zero fitness to completing an Ironman triathlon and covers super sprint, sprint, olympic 70.3 & full iron distances all from a ‘first timer’ perspective – please take a moment to read the reviews on amazon www.amazon.co.uk/Secrets-Ironmen-Iron-Rookie/dp/1974002322/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1529099273&sr=8-1&keywords=iron+rookie
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